Fork In The Barrack Road

I started a post with this title nine days ago, leading on the point that while Jonjo Shelvey and Henri Saivet were good players, they were not the strengthening that was required. Judging by the five goals and four points that came Newcastle's way since then, I was perhaps being a bit pessimistic!

Let no-one be fooled, though, finishing is still a big problem on Tyneside. Aleksandr Mitrovic is a fine player, but whether through lack of confidence or killer instinct is not someone to reliably finish off a move.

The build-up and excitment to the West Ham game was dampened somewhat with the news that Charlie Austin had made a snip of a £4 million move to Southampton. Among all the hype of "Wow! What a great deal!" it was perhaps overlooked that Austin's contract expires in the summer, so QPR were lucky to get anything for him. Given that they are marooned in mid-table, far from either play-off contention or relegation sweats, it was perhaps the prudent financial decision to get a bit dollah into the coffahs.

If Southampton get anything approaching double figures in goals from the striker, the powers-that-be at Newcastle may take a good, hard look at themselves and ask themselves why they let such a deal get away from them. Saido Berahino, at 22, has perhaps the higher all-important sell-on potential, but arguably also the higher risk of being a petulant child judging by his recent time at West Brom. Then again, is Tony Pulis really the one to get the best out of a maverick youngster? Heck, is Steve McClaren?!

Speaking of apparently questionable characters, what a debut from Shelvey. At times I thought I was watching Barcelona (As a Newcastle fan I am starved of any killer passes, so forgive my OTT-ness). It was as comfortable a 2-1 win as I have seen in awhile. Even when we came under a bit of pressure in the second half, I always felt confident we had a third goal in us, and Mitrovic did a good job of holding up play, although sometimes his distribution/finishing lacks a bit of conviction.

With Watford next on the horizon, a swift revenge should be on the menu. The 1-0 FA Cup defeat with a full strength side was the final straw in terms of what we had. An injection of quality to the squad was needed and has been delivered. However it is imperative not to stop there. At least one striker and a left-back are a must. While Newcastle have improved of late, all the bottom sides, including Aston Villa, have made their own gains. Standing still is not an option, and trying to do so will lead to a well-deserved relegation for any of the contenders.

A good week for English co-efficients

In what was fast becoming a situation of desperate measures for the Premier League's beloved fourth place trophy, ironically the club most accused of treating it as such was the one who did it the most damage this week.

Arsenal's 5-1 defeat to Bayern Munich was in many ways a righting of the wrong that occured when the Germans were vanquished a fortnight ago in London. despite having all the territory etc. Any war imagery is unintentional, I swear!

The Gunners' proud record of maximum progression in 15 Champions League group stages is one that is under threat, yet this is one season where Premier League success, or at least the top two, may be within reach. Perhaps skipping their inevitable drawn out hammering by one of Europe's elite will allow their confidence to remain. And hey, there's always the Europa League, a definitely winnable competition.

Man City gave probably the most impressive and polished performance of the week, with a stunning display of speed and savagery on the counter-attack. Brendan Rodgers will have been spitting his well-pruned feathers at the sight of Raheem Sterling's goal and it must be said - could Sterling have been right all along? He certainly seems to have taken to life at the Etihad, like a duck to water you might say. Must stop thinking about ducks...

In all fairness, finishing was always his week point, but to give such a calm and precise conclusion to a thrilling break, and an all-round potent display, is feasibly proof that Liverpool was holding back a talent. It's much easier to initially flourish at anything when you are not immediately looked upon as the main man. Sterling had perhaps one season under the "promising youngster" tag before Suarez was chased out of town and Sturridge self-combusted. At City, Aguero, Bony and De Bruyne, not to mention the likes of Silva, Nasri and Navas, are already top quality attacking options. He is now free to learn, absorb, grow into the top player everyone unfairly assumed he was.

It is also impossible not to wonder whether Sterling would have still been at Anfield under Jurgen Klopp. While it must be said that Rodgers did achieve success that Klopp would be hoping to emulate, his most recent record was worrying. Under Rodgers, Sterling was...stalling, much like the rest of the side. There had been glimmers of the post-Sterling Liverpool sparking into life, most notably in that draw at Arsenal. Yet it was the equivalent of a spluttering engine, soon to burn out completely. The philosophy was tired and, most damningly, muddled.

Klopp, in just a few weeks, has certainly got his ideas across. His ideals of rock and roll football were not a million miles way against Rubin Kazan. As far as 1-0 hammerings go, this was right up there. High pressing, thrilling attacking football - there is a reason why his Dortmund side was so successful.

Man United and Chelsea also did their own bit for the cause, but I am not going to wade into the perpetual Rooney/Van Gaal/Mourinho storms this time. Too early in the morning for that. By all means though, get your fix of superstar soap opera! Don't forget to check out the Facebook page for the Messi vs Ronaldo Great Keyboard Warrior War. I need to get wars and ducks out of my system... This'll do - would you rather face an army of duck-sized horses, or a lone horse-sized duck?

Why this season's Premier League is the most refreshing in years

The self-styled best league in the world has had its issues of late. The top four in particular was seen as a closed shop, with only the rich elite having any hope of inhabiting the money positions. Rightly or wrongly, the ever-more financially bloated top league has extended its money share a touch, to the extent that the newly-promoted Bournemouth were able to drop a cool £8 million on Tyrone Mings from Ipswich. Let's not forget the £12 million the still-Championship Fulham spent on Luke McCormack.

While this money bubble will surely burst at some stage, and the likes of Newcastle and Villa in their frugal ways will rise to the top and laugh from their ivory towers, it's made for a thrillingly open season thus far, as more of the mid-ranking have a bit of dough to outspend their European counterparts with. Mahrez at Leicester, Cabaye at Crystal Palace - these are clubs who are in their second and third seasons after promotions respectively. When you add the fact that they both have managers who are delighting in rubbing the noses of their critics, it's an undeniably nice thing to see.

In addition to this, McClaren at Newcastle attempting to rebuild his reputation, and succeeding on the basis of performances, if not yet results, plus Slavan Billic at West Ham finally attempting to prove that he isn't merely an England national side bogeyman eight long years after that wet Wembley night.

Then you have Southampton and Everton - the Saints riding on the back of a tremendous season last time out, and threatening at least a repeat this time, Martinez living up to his so far somewhat inconsistent reign with an extremely mixed bag of results.

Liverpool are one of the standout cases for me of a bit of dare-I-say-it fun returning to the fray. Rodgers did make a valuable contribution to Anfield's recent history, and will surely always be welcomed back by supporters should he ever return to watch his former side, but towards the end of his reign he seemed lost in his own bubble of motivational-schtick, tossing out cliches that even he didn't seem to believe any longer. Jurgen Klopp's claim of his love of rock and roll football seemed alive and well at Stamford Bridge in their 3-1 win. The odd bum note and leftover feedback was definitely audible, but more than made up for by the theatrics of their goals.

Speaking of which, Jose Mourinho is one man in danger of being left behind by this new element of fun. His sides have rarely been thrilling ones to watch, and when they are, it always seems to have been a temporary phase en route to his idealistic vision of a ruthless cyborg of a team. Even his solid-as-a-rock defensive plans have been ripped to pieces by this more adventurous than normal Premier League, and he must surely recognise this, fight fire with fire, and simply allow his most creative players and supposedly deadliest finishers the room to dovetail and combine as they please.

Hazard, Oscar, Costa, Remy, Falcao - that is by no means the only attacking talent he has, yet he refuses to play to their strengths, and his continuing strangulation of their talents cannot last. He claimed to want to help Falcao back to his best, yet the longer he rots away on the bench, supposedly having to dislodge Costa, the more like a vanity project it seems. Solution - play them both up front together. If this reads like an anti-Jose rant, it isn't, merely a suggestion that he should allow him to be swept up in this newly attacking league, him being the supposedly Happy One this time around.

Louis van Gaal can also stand to loosen up on the pitch if he wants to get anywhere near the league this season. Off the field, his attitude formation seems to be a constant 2-3-5, so a bit more cavalier on the pitch would be nice. As long as one of those five strikers isn't Rooney. Seriously, the man needs a rest. The endless bashing he gets will not do him any good. He needs to remind himself why he loves the game, see how he can move forward a stalled career, and he needs a bit of time out to do that.

Manchester City and Arsenal are definitely doing it right. Could this be the first season in living memory where they occupy the top two spots? I need to employ a fact checker to see when that last happened. Hmm...alright, I'll do it. WHOA - OK, this would be the first time it ever happened. Now, that would be refreshing.

An Unhappy First Visit...

The pressure was always going to prove too much. Five games without victory in the build-up to a match that Newcastle would always be expected to win in any circumstances, yet there was a certain fear in the air, a sense that any win would be scrappy. The only time they had racked up any kind of goal tally was against the toothless lower-league opposition that Northampton had provided in the Capital One Cup.

The warm-ups of the two sides, in hindsight, were quite an interesting window. Watford did some stretching, while Newcastle rehearsed some snappy, yet also strangely subdued one-touch pass-and-move. It was the last time they would demonstrate it that afternoon. All the talk of late is how good the training has been, but with the form of our respective attack and defence, I fail to see how facing that lot in training all week is any kind of gauge of performance come Saturday itself.

Odion Ighalo and Troy Deeney were a thorn in the side of the home team all afternoon, showcasing the power and pace that mercilessly exposed the lack of the same in captain Fabricio Coloccini. Not only did the Argentine defender fail to impress in those qualities, but his distribution was often careless to the point of criminal, with countless floated dinks barely making it halfway to the intended target before being easily intercepted by a much more hungry Watford player.

The selection of Steve McClaren was a talking point throughout the week after the equally meek surrender at West Ham. Personally, I saw this as the perfect opportunity to bench Papiss Cisse and throw Ayoze Perez, Siem de Jong and Rolando Aarons into the attack. If you aren't going to go for the jugular at home to a newly-promoted side, even though Watford may yet finish well clear of relegation, then when? Perez was the only one of that power trio to make the grade.

As I was watching live at the ground, it took a minute or two for the formation to be clear in my mind. The hope in my mind was for some kind of Perez-Cisse partnership. In reality, the Spaniard was in a staggeringly defensive left-midfield role. The opening 45 saw Cisse as the only player in the Watford half for long spells. Florian Thauvin and Daryl Janmaat showed some promising link up play down the right, and the Dutch right-back was our main attacking threat throughout the match.

The most damning aspect of the game was, even at 2-0 down, the Toon had 11 men in the penalty box, with no out-ball. No counter attack possible. By the time any forward momentum was gathered, all gates were shut by the visitors.

In all fairness, there was a slight improvement in the second half, with Cisse being jettisoned for de Jong, but the formation changed little. There was still no desire to push up the field, get numbers in the box, and only Janmaat was showing any guile when it came to actually forcing the issue and creating something dynamic.

Another worry was McClaren's delay in making any further changes. Not until the 80th minute did substitute number two arrive, and even then, hoping a straight swap with Aarons for Haidara would make any big difference was a tad misguided. Aarons can have as big an impact as any youngster in the Premier League if he is let off the leash and allowed to really attack teams from a more advanced position than wing-back.

By this stage, even a one-goal deficit seemed insurmountable, and each broken down attack saw a few more people filter out around me. By the time the final whistle blew, a half empty stadium remained, but the booing was substantial enough.

In fact, throughout the game, the surrounding fans in my area certainly were not shy in showing their frustration. It was perhaps a reflection of the inertia affecting the side that barely one player escaped abuse. In general, the new boys escaped harsh judgement, although Thauvin has work to do if he is to escape the second-rate Ben Arfa tag that seems destined to befall any new French winger that arrives to Tyneside.

All in all, a lot of work to do, hopefully starting tonight at home to Sheffield Wednesday, but now I must do my own. Night shift tonight for me. Hopefully many good shifts are put in at St James', and not just from the away side...

Can Rooney Recapture The Glory Days?

It seems incredible that it was 11 years ago when Wayne Rooney announced his arrival on both Manchester United and European stage with a hat-trick to help swat Fenerbahce aside. At 18 years old, he seemed poised to take on the world, having already threatened to make Euro 2004 his own.

Fast forward to 2015, and as Rooney approaches his 30th birthday, he tonight spearheads his and his club's grand return to European competition. Perhaps as a marker of how both have fallen on the world stage, it is not yet September and this is not a group game. Club Brugge stand in the way of that and Rooney will be looking for a serious spark. Now is the time for another hat-trick, or at least a goal, to silence the growing band of naysayers.

Many previous dry spells have been blamed on injury or fatigue, such as a European Championship or World Cup campaign, but with a relatively bare summer, this season has seen an undeniably ring-rusty Rooney. Ironically, it was his own lack of sharpness that probably caused Kyle Walker to put past his own keeper on the opening day, with Walker throwing himself in front of a shot that never came. Aston Villa are a club that Rooney historically loves - an unlucky 13 have flown past their keepers from his boot. We all know the "lies, damn lies, and statistics" quote, but it is impossible to resist the connection. He was, to put it kindly, below-par at Villa Park on Friday night.

An admittedly key element of recent times in Rooney's career has been the growing frequency with which he has been deployed either on the wing or central midfield. For someone who burst onto the scene with such energy, that should not necessarily pose much problem, but it is true that this may have hampered him. Robin Van Persie and Cristiano Ronaldo have both been his positional scourges over the years, leading to teams that are not built to serve Rooney. Now that that time has belatedly come, could it be that the fire has long since burnt out?

It was a long-levelled accusation towards Sir Alex Ferguson that he had dulled the sharpness of the Rooney blade in favour of a more defensively-minded selfless team player. Rooney being Rooney, he has (mostly) done whatever is asked of him, and would probably have played right-back if Fergie had convinced him so.

Unquestionably, in terms of end-of-season statistics, Rooney is a relentlessly consistent performer, and can surely have Fergie to thank for some of this. Last season, he became the first player in the Premier League era to score 10+ goals in 11 consecutive campaigns. In only two of these did he breach the 30 mark, and in only one further did he pass 20, Probably most galling of all for him, his most productive scoring campaign was followed by Fergie's Van Persie trophy signing, which admittedly won him his swansong campaign. Even last season, Rooney ended as not only United's top scorer but also leading assist-maker.

He now has the chance to further cement his unquestionable legacy. Yet, the one niggling question remains - did he move to Old Trafford too soon? Did his explosive early promise ever really get fulfilled? Yes, he has scored many goals, and many spectacular ones at that, such as THAT overhead against Man City. But remember the way he ran at and terrorized those defences at Euro 2004. Was it coached out of him? Was his body type and tendency to easily put on weight always going to sand those jagged edges away? Or is it all rubbish? Could it be that he has in fact fulfilled whatever potential he had? His could remain a cautionary tale for the likes of Ross Barkley to stay where you are developing, and not to reach for the stars so soon.

Or tonight may yet be the start of Rooney's late career golden era. The scene is set. European midweek floodlights will be on. He will be central striker for that same team he, lest we forget, is the 3rd top scorer ever for. Perhaps his career trajectory is a lesson for football hacks everywhere to avoid comparisons with the absolute greats of the game, and simply appreciate him for what he is, a solid striker who guarantees goals. Only, he doesn't right this moment. Step forward, Wayne.

Dr Mo, and some Saturday-related Ramblings

I don't know about you, but I can't wait for the first Chelsea injury of tomorrow's match. The collective holding of the crowd's breath, the uncertainty of Dr Eva Carneiro's touchline stand-in, before Jose Mourinho himself dons the medic uniform and grabs the ol' magic spray. All of course to distract the wider attention from the 2-0 lead that Manchester City have at the time.

On to the things that actually matter - action! Southampton came massively unstuck against the Toffees of Everton whose performance was pure Werther's Original. I spoke to an Everton fan who said he was used to going to bars in Poole and seeing his beloved Blues get trounced on the south coast year after year. Well, he can go back in next time with bragging rights firmly in his back pocket! It was a really impressive display from Roberto Martinez's men, one at odds with a lot of the accusations of one-dimensional death-by-possession leveled at him last season (and last weekend...).

While one Saints swallow does not make a summer, the ability by his charges to actually construct speedy counter-attacking moves is extremely promising for Everton's seasonal prospects. In his post-match interview, Martinez admitted the need for flexibility in his play, and today resembled the best of the 2013-14 performances. Admittedly, it is when the defenses are packed that Everton have tended to struggle, and the next home game against supposedly middling opposition will be a truer test of progress, but today was a definite step forward. Romelu Lukaku had one of his Superman games, and Ross Barkley reminded us all why he was talked of as the next (sober) Gazza. His lack of consistency last season was alarming, but this opening fortnight will ideally act as a springboard for him, and the side.

Speaking of sobriety, Daryl Jannmat will have needed some Dutch courage before entering the dressing-room at half time to face Schteve McClaren. His senseless sending off was the biggest nail in a coffin that was truly made of nails for Newcastle today against Swansea. Jefferson Montero had a field day against the Toon defence, and another day it could have been four or five. One can only imagine the accusations if John Carver was still in charge, because for Jannmat to indulge in a spot of shirt-tugging in his situation was a bit silly to say the least.

Speaking of indiscipline, new boy Aleksandar Mitrovic is seemingly a throwback to the psychotic days of Duncan Ferguson. The Serb actually showed a couple of nifty touches in his short spell on the Liberty turf. Unfortunately, once more he showed a hotheaded streak that threatens to earn him a reputation. The referee showed him a yellow card for a bit of pushing and shoving - while awarding Newcastle a free-kick, apparently missing a rather nasty high lunge at his Swansea opponent. Had this been spotted, that yellow may well have been red.

Borussia Dortmund and Thomas Tuchel got the post-Klopp era off to the perfect start with an absolute annihilation of Borussia Monchengladbach. 4-0 did not do it justice, with the referee even taking pity on Lucien Favre's men by not even bothering with the stoppage time at the end of the 90. Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang was in the hottest of form, and the Premier League speculation will no doubt intensify as August reaches its conclusion.

If tomorrow is supposed to be Super Sunday, the Saturday was a more than adequate appetizer!

More football! Wheyyy

Time to reflect on the opening weekend of Real Football. I may one day change the name of this blog to Mirrorball but if not, in true logical fashion, if I don't have it, no one can!

As a Newcastle fan, one of my favourite weekend titbits was Hatem Ben Arfa's Nice debut, although it didn't turn out so nice for him, I can tell you that! Playing as part of a ten-man patchwork Nice team, in a vaguely right-wing-back role, he let the Monaco left-back, Layvin Kurzawa, ghost into the penalty area and seal a tidy comeback for a 2-1 Monaco win. Cue an immediate substitution of the defence-dodging Ben Arfa! The old classics never go out of style. Enjoy the highlights, complete with atmospheric French commentary.

In more homeward-bound endeavours, Man United got their apparently sewn up title charge underway with a shiver-inducing 1-0 thrashing of Spurs, who were so quaking in their boots that Kyle Walker finished off Wayne Rooney's thought for him. He was so puzzled by Rooney's lack of movement and predator instinct that he shaped to block the shot, only to actually beat his own keeper in the process.

Tottenham were certainly rather disappointing themselves, although Harry Kane was as industrious as ever, while looking a bit ring-rusty. With a bit more intensity, at least a point could have been within their grasp. Mind you, the Spurs pre-season can surely not have helped, resembling a drunken Football Manager fumble at 3am on a Sunday morning. A couple of end-of-season knockabouts, then nothing until the 29th July? Followed by two games in two days in Munich four/five days before an early Saturday kick-off at Old Trafford? Someone was definitely on the absinthe at White Hart Lane this summer.

What wasn't abSENT at Stamford at Bridge was fortune. Both Chelsea goals, in particular the second, had more than a helping hand from the football gods. Not even the sending-off of the alarmingly nervy Thibaut Courtois could steer Swansea to what would have been a thoroughly deserved three points. If you can read anything into this opening week of the season season, it is that Swansea are on the charge. Steve McClaren and co better bring their Dutch courage next weekend...

Arsenal got their campaign off to a typically calamitous start, recalling their 3-1 meltdown at home to Villa a couple of years back. Ironically, both goals were probably down to the one signing that was supposed to finally shore up that pesky defence. Peter Cech gave a quite uncharacteristic display, leading to such online ubiquity as this here link that is highlighted, while Slaven Bilic re-announced himself to English football in a similar party-pooping fashion as his previous London appearance.

Some other things most certainly happened. Liverpool ground their way to a ghost-banishing victory at Stoke via a stunning Coutinho strike, while Yohan Cabaye inspired Crystal Palace to a 3-1 victory at Norwich. Oh, and despite my own desire to see West Brom put up a fight against Man City, that particular team-talk fell absolutely flat - the City boys coasting to a 3-0 win that has seen them crowned Champions of Everything. It was so easy for them that Raheem Sterling even got a chance to further practice his rusty finishing skills in a very Raheem Sterling way.

Oh, and someone needs to (MANY already have done so) tell Channel Five that their Football League Tonight show is terrible. The one positive point was the 9pm start, which gives the lower leagues a much needed jump on their glamorous Premier League competition. But the rest? Endless league-hopping, no mics on their audience participants, no shape or order to the show whatsoever. I did quite enjoy the low-budget league tables, but much work to do ahead of Week 2!

The worst performance of the week has to go to myself, though, hovering around the bottom of both my fantasy league and prediction leagues. I've fined myself a week's wages and sent myself for a run around the block, so I'll be better next week, I promise.

To revisit my opening paragraph - adieu!